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Writer's pictureKsenia

Lesson 6 - There are no 'bad emotions'

Updated: May 12, 2021

May is a month of mental health awareness. As much as we take care of our body, we need to take care of our mind.


I have a few favorite TED Talks on the topic of mental health and want to share one with you today.


Before you watch the video, please think of any emotions we might feel. You can make a list and compare it with the one I have found here.


Please watch the video and fill in the gaps.

In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people, I found that a third of us - a third - either judge ourselves for having 1,_________ "bad emotions," like sadness, anger or even grief. Or actively try to 2.________ these feelings. We do this not only to ourselves, but also to people we love, like our children - we may 3.__________ shame them out of emotions seen as negative, jump to a solution, and 4._________ them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.


Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad. And being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.


I've had hundreds of people tell me what they don't want to feel. They say things like, "I don't want to try because I don't want to feel 5.__________ " Or, "I just want this feeling to go away." "I understand," I say to them. "But you have dead people's goals." Only dead people never get unwanted or 6.__________ by their feelings. Only dead people never get stressed, never get broken hearts, never 7.___________ the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don't get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and 8.__________. Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.


📌Please watch the video with the subtitles and check yourself. You can also check with the transcript below, if that works better for you.

 

💡 Here's some good vocabulary that can be useful in everyday conversations:

I found that a third of us - a third - either judge ourselves for having so-called "bad emotions"

So-called has two meanings - 1. known as, it is used when introducing a new word not known by many people. 2. Can be used as an expression of sarcasm, that something is not actually true.

For example:

1. It isn't yet clear how dangerous these so-called "human robots" are.

2. Where are your so-called friends when you need them the most? (= those people are not true friends)

🔹 RUS: так называемый

we may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative, jump to a solution, and fail to help them

Inadvertently - without intention, accidentally.

For example:

He has already inadvertently caused everyone enough problems

🔹RUS: невольно, ненароком, непреднамеренно, непроизвольно


Jump to a solution - provide an answer before truly understanding the issue. There's also another good phrase - jump to a conclusion - to guess the facts about a situation without having enough information:

For example:

Please don't jump to solutions. Give her a chance to explain everything first.

I don't want you to jump to any conclusions. You should talk to your son and find out what happened exactly.

🔹RUS: сделать поспешные / неверные выводы


When you fail to do something, it means that you are unable to do it or did not succeed in doing it, even though you've tried or expected to do it.

For example:

When people face difficulties they often fail to overcome them.

She got very upset when her husband failed to appreciate everything she's done for him.

🔹RUS: быть не в состоянии, не справляться

Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings

Inconvenience someone is to cause difficulties or problems for them.

For example:

Thank you for your kind offer but I think I will stay at the hotel. I don't want to inconvenience you and you family. - Oh please, we will not be inconvenienced by you!

🔹RUS: причинять неудобство

never experience the disappointment that comes with failure

If you experience something, it happens to you or you feel it.

For example:

I don't know anyone who hasn't experienced loneliness at some point in their life.

She began to experience severe headaches.

🔹RUS: испытывать, чувствовать

Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.

Discomfort is a feeling of being uncomfortable or experience pain physically or mentally.

For example:

I always feel discomfort in my stomach after eating dessert.

I felt some discomfort in his voice.

🔹 RUS: неудобство, дискомфорт

 

If you are interested in watching the entire TED Talk, you can find it here along with the transcript - Susan David, The gift and power of emotional courage.

 

⏰ You can practice the new words and phrases below:

 

For additional practice, you can make your own examples with the emotions and feelings from the list above.

For example:

I feel frustrated when people don't keep their promise.

I feel very sad when I hear news about wars and violence.

I feel ...... when ......

You can continue 😉


If you want to dig deeper, here's a complete wheel of emotions for you.

 

I hope you enjoyed the lesson. I'd love to hear from you. Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Have a wonderful day! 🤗

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